okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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