My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
