I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
