Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize