she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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