Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
