If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
