K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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