we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
