He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
