Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
