Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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