i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I cut my penus on the lid.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
