Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
