Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
