Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
