I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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