Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
