i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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