The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
