somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
