idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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