I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
