Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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