and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We don't watch enough power rangers
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize