me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
