i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
operation have a gay friend backfired
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
