you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
