Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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