If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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