Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
