This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
