Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
