I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Are my feet made of real feet?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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