i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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