i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
