my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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