They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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