why didn't you poke me back
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
