No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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