There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
