My room smells like vodka and shame
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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