i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
