When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize