Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize