It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We need to rekindle our bromance
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
