did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
