absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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