i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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