Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
