Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
