As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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