And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
