Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
