About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
