Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
