Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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